washing the blood off my hands

me [10:58 AM]
when's he starting?

marie [10:58 AM]
"soon"
[10:58]
[sends me a creepy af robot gif]

marie [10:58 AM]
farzad seems less creepy than that robot

me [10:58 AM]
I hope so
[10:59]
there is room for only one creepy robot in this company

[a few more moments of giphying 'creepy robot']

me [10:59 AM]
...how have we never giphyed this before??

marie [10:59 AM]
why are they both children???

me [10:59 AM]
because children are terrifying

marie [10:59 AM]
we have a lot of questions





marie [11:04 AM]
These buns are packed with candied fruit and sweet spices and marked with a cross to reflect the Crucifixion. They were banned from sale in Elizabethan England on any day except Good Friday because they are so indulgent.
[11:04]
CHRISTIANITY MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE TO ME
[11:04]
HAY JUDY

me [11:05 AM]
god dammit XD
[11:05]
....literally

marie [11:05 AM]
COME OVER FOR THE SINFULLY INDULGENT DESSERT I MADE TO COMMEMORATE THE HORRIFIC UNJUST EXECUTION OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR
[11:05]
OH MAVIS THOSE ARE SO CUTE
[11:05]
I LOVE HOW YOU DEPICTED THE MURDER WEAPON ON THEM
[11:05]
wtf??

marie [11:06 AM]
NOTHING MAKES ME THING JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS LIKE EATING SOME CANDIED ROLLS
[11:07 AM]
SHAME WE CAN ONLY HAVE THIS SPECIAL TREAT ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE NIGHT JESUS CHRIST WAS BETRAYED
[11:08]
YEAH I COULD BETRAY JESUS EVERY DAY TO HAVE THESE FOR BREAKFAST
[11:08]
ok i'm done

third corvid: I am not, to my knowledge, planning any sort of biological, chemical, or biochemical warfare.
third corvid: Nor to murder anyone with a teacup.
Thief: to your knowledge

Annnnd one from work earlier:

Les: Hey look at this CD. *holds up a CD called:* Fess Up When You Mess Up!
Alex: Own up when you've thrown up?
[there's a little bit of nonsensical back-and-forth between Les and Alex, including the line 'Tart up when you fart up', and then]
Les: Scoop up when you poop up!
Me: Buck up when you fuck up.

And this is why we shouldn't be left at the buy counter when there's nobody in the store.

Firstly: thank you guys for all the :Ds on my hairpost. They are all much appreciated! <33!

Secondly: We have new hires at the store, and I am feeling vaguely ill from anxiety over training them, even though today (the first day for one of them) went pretty well and he seems like he'll fit in okay and all.

There is no thirdly.