This is what happens when one's phones have voice recognition

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Travis: *puts hand on Brooke's face*
Brooke: Why? Why? Why are you doing this?
Me: Bite him!
Brooke: *attempts to do so* .....GET OUT OF MY NOSE.

Travis, to his phone: Order a prostitute!
Phone: (after about a half minute) I couldn't find any escort services nearby.
Travis: Find cocaine!
Phone: I can't find any addiction treatment centers for you.

Travis: I said I needed prostitutes and cocaine, not treatment for prostitues and cocaine!
Brooke: ...my phone picked that up as "cheap prostitutes and cocaine"

Travis: how to get away with murder.
His phone: I don't know what you mean by..."how to get away with murder."
Travis: I THINK YOU DO.